Dark Places Call For Running

I always laugh at my inter-dweeb friends when they are in a funk. Maybe I laugh because I know them and I can see them kicking themselves in the ass and there is a comedy about that to me. Yet, I can see when they are in a rough patch and fighting demons and it makes me sad. I know what it is to deal with those demons...those dark places that people need to go into to confront those demons are scary and not safe places. For their courage, The Rooster is in awe.

I, myself, The Rooster, have left my demons from my past there...in the past. I’ve never really confronted them, I just ran from them. It was just easier for me to run than to stand and fight. I did a great job of running, too! I went to the top colleges in the nation and ended up in what can be argued as the greatest city on earth, NYC. I beam with pride at my accomplishments. I have good friends who are always there for me when I need them. Yet, for the first time in a long time those demons are coming back and haunting me.

Some would tell me to stop and fight them. Me, I don’t have time to sit there on a couch and talk it out or even hug it out and I have been in too many battles with them in my past. I’m a runner so I will just keep running. Call me a coward if you will...honestly, I’m o.k. with that title. It is much better than getting in fights, being thrown in jail, getting kicked out of school and having enough anger in your blood to kill if need be. I’m not that boy anymore. I'm better than that and I’ve done it by running away. But I wish I could sit that young angry boy down that was me and tell him that life is brutal with its twists and turns. I would shake him and tell him not to be so angry with the world, the people around him, and don’t be angry with your family. Because in the end, those people continue to live their life and you are stuck in anger.

So even now...when I don’t know who I am and my hands shake as I type this. I have to remember that I’m o.k., I’m not a monster or bad person, and that trials come and this is just another. That those dark places do catch up from time to time and I can either flight or fight. But I must always remember that life is great and I woke up and could walk, smell, taste and I should smile about these gifts.

One day I might sit and fight but for me running for daylight has always been much safer and happier.